Great Put-Downs

How To Squash The Opposition - With A Smile On Your Face!

Get A Laugh With Great Put-downs

When it comes to clever insults and great put-downs, catching someone off guard is key. In a world where humour is the common thread in movies, advertisements, television, and online ramblings, pulling off a unique or never-heard-before insult can be hard. To make the most of a recycled put-down, spontaneity is the best chance you may have at getting a laugh.

In order to use a great put-down in an unrehearsed way, you may need to have an arsenal of insults ready to fire at several different types of people. The need for a good insult varies, and many times you may not even know when that important moment will come. Some people enjoy throwing out insults like rapid gunfire at unsuspecting random victims. Others prefer to use put-downs in a sparring match with friends, family, or colleagues. No matter what your preference, having a vast supply of witty insults will put you on top of the game.

When it comes to spontaneity, the most effective put-downs are those that appear innocent at first. Razor sharp insults that are masked in innocuous niceties almost always catch people off guard. Speaking in an absurdly pleasant tone or with exaggerated sweetness will boost the effect of the insult.

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The following is a list of some of the best masked insults that can be used as defensive measures or as spur-of-the-moment attacks.

- You remind me of when I was younger and didn't know as much.
- You’re no longer beneath my contempt.
- I’ll forever cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
- I like how you never strike out blindly. You fail right in the light.
- You are having delusions of competence.
- Do you want to go some place were we can each be alone?
- Any connection between my reality and yours is purely coincidental.
- I am looking forward to the pleasure of your company, since I haven't had it yet.
- I really wish we were better strangers.
- If you think you're a wit, you're half right.
- You're never outspoken. No one ever has a chance.
- You have more talent in your little finger than you do in your big finger.
- I'd like to say I am happy you’re here. I’d like to.
- I’ve never been completely infatuated with a co-worker before, and I’m still not.
- There may be no end to your good taste. There also may be no beginning.
- You would make an exceptional stranger.
- You look like you could be a professional blind date.
- The more I think about you, the less I think about you.
- You should live for the moment. After that, who knows.
- I may have no taste, but I like you.
- You can say what you think with me, but you’ll be speechless.
- When you get lost in thought, do you feel like a stranger there?
- You’re attractive in an off way. A way off.
- You’re the best at everything you do, even when you fail.
- You bring happiness whenever you go.

When using these or other masked insults, it is often necessary to know the recipient well. If your intention is to get a laugh or two, it would be pointless to throw a lack of intelligence insult at your Harvard graduate boss. By personalizing a put-down, you not only boost the humour meter, you make a connection with the person you’re sparring with. This can open up many more doors for witty banter.

Gently poking fun at a friend, family member, or co-worker can bring laughter and joy to an otherwise dull situation. When it comes to great put-downs, it’s important to remember that a surprise attack often gets the best reaction. With a sharp wit and some quick thinking, you can show others that insults are not always insulting.